Rion's journal of doom

a change for the better

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:31:12 GMT

things have been inproving. I 've been devoting a lot more of my time to doing things that make me happy, instead of going out of my way to please my friends. I just finished my first tedious project (halloween costume) and with this momentum I will outrun my past and start making big changes. On Friday I'm going to get caught up in my media class and start drawing out some simple shop projects for school so that I can get a mark in. Not only am I going to start doing projects in class, but I would like to start doing them at home too. Simple Instructables stuff to start off, bu ya gotta start somewhere.

As for my personal health, i've tried to eat healthier, but when i'm in a situation where i don't buy my own groceries and my mom works most of the week, I eat most of my meals from the microwave. i've been meaning to start using a toaster oven, ( ya know, nothing healthy ever goes into the microwave) but that would require a place to set everything up. something I lack at the moment. on the plus side, i HAVE been walking a lot more, and i plan on using the stairs more. This may seem like a simple goal (i live on the 6th floor) but my building lacks landings so it's just a straight walk of 25 steps from floor to floor, instead of 10-15 steps and then a landing in between.

i've also been wanting to fix the patch cord for my guitar and learn how to play tabs, chords, and notation. My plan is to incorporate my love to make things into my love of music. planning on making a keyboard stand, guitar stand, and a composition whiteboard out of a large picture frame and some bristol board so that I can convert notes to tabs,tabs to notes, along with standard High School music room tips like how many sharps and flats are in a scale, a fingering chart for guitar and bass, along with many other additions that might not fit on one poster. my walls are bare anyway so it 's not like i'll miss the space. I realized that to make music, I need to learn how to play my instruments.

now since i almost forgot, my Deadmau5 costume that i'm going to wear to roo's party

What to do

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:46:15 GMT

what to do indeed...

I use to post here often to let off a bit of steam and vent a bit, but after a year or two of that i realized two things:

anyone on the internet could read this journal if they wanted to, so putting my explicit thoughts and emotions in a public domain wasn't really a smart idea
anyone on the internet who could/does read this journal doesn't give a FUCK about me, my problems, or what I have to say

I used my internet friends to vent all of my anger and depression on because it's easy to confess your problems to someone hundreds of miles away who doesn't even know your real name. but as time goes on the people you once knew as "friends" eventually turn into those people who sign onto msn set to "appear offline" or "busy" and they get deleted. at the moment i have 28 people on my list and I only talk to 8 or 9 of them regularly. All the others just ask me to help them do stuff, or maybe say hi once or twice a month. Hell,even out of those 8 people, i feel like a handful of them only talk to me because they know that if they don't talk to me i'll delete them, so they might initiate a conversation once or twice a month when they're bored, but even when we do talk it seems like they want the conversation to die, but i digress...

So I have 28 people on my list and that number gets smaller every time i have a bad day where i'm in the mood for deleting people from my life (like Till) and i'm running out of people to talk to. I'd talk to myself but that turns into a cry-fest quicker than the brown fox can jump over the lazy dog. I've debated coming back to LJ, but i'm to paranoid of the internet these days; and writing my thoughts in a physical diary is just asking for someone in the house to catch me slippin and just completely expose my life. weither that's good or bad is up to debate.

*siiiiigh*

I just had one of those "fuck, this is pointless" moments

I don't understand life, i really don't. how the hell can all of these assholes have so many friends, and then when i count my friends with my hands i can't even get past my middle finger like yeah, I have friends that i hang out with, but i wouldn't DARE talk to them about matters as sensitive as this, they're simply too shitty of friends to disclose feelings to. But it's like i can't stop hanging out with them, cause if i do then i would have no friends and that would suck...right?

i think about that all the fucking time. what if not having any friends isn't as bad as it seems. it would be nice to not have to worry about if your friends would laugh at you over stupid shit, or if they'll forget to call you back like they always do, and when they do, all they want to know is how much money you have and how much you're willing to give them. but at the same time, i wonder "what if I don't even know what a friend is?" what if it's like those abusive relationships where the girl is only attracted to men who beat her because that's all she's ever known. what if I'm so use to being the doormat of the group that everyone can walk all over because he's the only one with enough sense to realize that fucking punching someone in the jaw doesn't solve anything.

I'm gonna try isolation for a few weeks and see if that'll do any good. just cut friends (including facebook, msn, and txting) out of my life for a bit and see if it makes me feel better

fuck all you assholes

Shitty march break

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 06:05:51 GMT

Hey Journal

Long time no see eh? I know it's been a while, but I've been busy with school during the week and parties on the weekends, so I don't have time between passing out to even update this thing. My health is really going downhill to the point that it's worrying me. my appetite is non-existant; I don't have the energy to do anything, and I spent my whole match break trying to fix my fucked up internal clock. for almost the whole week, I would fall asleep at 3 and wake up at 3; and all thoughout that time, I would have to FORCE myself to eat something mostly because I KNOW that I should eat something, but I didn't feel like it. I think the only healthy thing I've done over the break is that I got myself back into drinking water again instead of juice and pop.

Well, I went for a bike ride on my BMX for like 20 minutes and i felt brutally out of shape, but at the same time, my 6'2" chubby frame doesn't belong on a BMX anyway, hence why I'm making my own bike. That's going SUPER well by the way, I got the pieces all cut to length and now all I gotta do is fit them and I'll probably have the frame done by the end of next week, if I even go to school all week that is. Recently, I've been having these fucked-up sleep problems that make no sense to me. for example, when I fall asleep, it doesn't even feel like that. It feel like I'm literally passing out, cause I don't even feel a bit tired until 5-10 minutes before going to sleep.

Then once I fall asleep, I'll wake up every hour or two and feel like I NEED to move. It starts with an annoying tingle in my legs, and then I'll either crave for a drink, or feel like I have to go to the bathroom, or both, and walk around my apartment for a bit while I take care of that. It seems like the worse of it is behind me, but it's still a concern. I have no clue what's causing this, but I think it might be related to my lack of appetite and my ability to be sick for weeks at a time, and only have 3-4 days of feeling well before feeling something else come around.

It MIGHT be from my shitty diet and non-existant excersize plan, but after thinking about it I think I might have another theory. My mate of nearly 2 years and I broke up recently due to lack of communication and I feel as if maybe this is my own sick and twisted way of dealing with it. After looking up the symptoms of Grief, I've realized that about 3/4 of the list applies to me; Meaning that the cure to my illness might just be a decent distraction and time to heal.

I really hope that I get over this soon, cause I don't think my english teacher can take anymore scholastic neglect.

An investment in the future

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:13:26 GMT

Hey Journal

I've been giving it much thought for the past 11 years and I've decided that I'm actually going to try to do this. All my life I've been obese and I'm personally getting sick of it. Starting very soon *I'm eating pizza right now, so it obviously can't start right now* I'm going to actively attempt to ~~lose weight~~ become healthy. As much as it sucks in my head, I've been told by quite a few people that running in the cold is the best way to lose weight, cause your body burns the fat to stay warm. Also as soon as second semester starts, I'm going to stop slacking and finish my recumbent bike. I've been reworking the plans so that things are a bit more realistic, but I still plan on making it in a satisfying way.

I also need to get a job, finish school, and stop trying to half-ass my way through life. That type of shit only works with Paris Hilton. I'm making a deadline that by April, I will have lost at least 10 pounds *which is only a dent in my current weight of 300+ Lbs, but a dent is better than nothing*, finished building my bike, and be working part time somewhere fixing bikes and saving money until I have enough to move out and rent an apartment together. That's the plan, and this time, I'm not going to deviate from it.

Also, since I'm too tired to shoehorn this in somewhere, I'm not really interested in turning into a model or some shit, I'm just interested in weighing a little less and gaining a bit of muscle. I've also been very interested in parkour ever since I was a child, and it would just be the bee's knees if I could learn to do a trick or two ^^;;

As soon as I finish this pizza, I'm going to go for a walk somewhere FAAARRR

ALSO, if anyone who reads this has any advice for me at all I would greatly appreciate it because I'm an ignorant fucking retard when it comes to being physically active. I've had dietitian after dietitian preach at me, so I have a general grasp on how to feed myself, as well as a few tricks of the trade that I've learned along the way, but yeah

brb pizza

The Fort

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 10:50:48 GMT

Hey Journal

Ya know how it snowed pretty good a week before christmas? Well Josh, his cousin Daniel, and I really wanted to build a HUGE fort that involved shoveling all of the snow in his backyard and driveway to make a huge igloo. On the second day I helped him shovel, I was the first one out there shoveling snow in -20 and didn't noticed when everyone left cause I was just working away. So after I looked up and saw noone, I went "fuck it" and kept shoveling. Then like 15 minutes later josh comes out and is like "yo Rion! what the fuck! and tells me to come over. The fucking garage is HOTBOXED and there are two roaches sitting on the table, I got yelled at for not coming sooner and I was kinda pissed off. So after the blunt, I was tired as hell from shoveling a 10x10 space of 1 foot high snow

And also when I'm pissed off, I take out my anger in what I'm doing, so I'm shoveling outside in -20 weather shoveling the snow like the snow is daniel's head and I'm tearing the shit out of it. I had on a scarf, a hat, 2 hoodies, a coat, two pairs of pants, two pairs of socks, and two pairs of gloves. And after about an hour of hard working with a billion fuckin layers on, I started feeling tired and lightheaded. I just thought that it was because I'm fat and I was working rather hard, so I sat down and took a 30 minute break. the guys started bitching at me for sitting for so long so I got back up and continued shoveling.

After working for another 10 minutes or so, I noticed that I was getting dizzy and wobbly, so I slacked for a bit more and it got worse, so I went "fuck it" told josh that I was going inside. he was like "why" and I said "cause I feel like I'm going to fall down." and stuck my shovel in the snow. As soon as I took a step, I nearly fell over and grabbed onto my shovel again. then for a bit I couldn't even move and my friend josh was like "yo, you should sit down" pointed to the ground. " I said all slurred "fuck that, if I'm passing out I'm doing so inside." I wobbled my way around the huge walls that were coming up and made my way to the door. Daniel's brother decided to lock the door for some fucked up reason so I took off my glove and knocked on the door hard cause I honestly couldn't tell how far it was and heard Tony say "don't be rude or you'll have to come through the front" and just fell back into a pile of snow.

Tony damn-near jumped through the glass to help and he and josh helped me up. When I got inside, It felt like I was dying, so I took off my jacket and found that I was SOAKED in sweat. I stripped down to shorts and t shirt and sat down with a glass of cold water and slowly felt better. I went in at around 11, and at 11:30 I decided that I was going back out at 12. My clothes were dried out, and I was watching the end of a hockey game with Tony when daniel came in for a cigarette. He opened the door, draped his coat lazily over a chair and said "yo guy, what the fuck is this? Josh and I are out there shoveling snow the whole time and you're in here watching hockey and slacking. I mean I'm glad that you didn't need medical attention but you're just slacking now"

Tony just had this "oh fuck" look on his face as I jumped out of my seat and charged at daniel. he tried to get out of the door in time but I grabbed daniel by his scarf and pulled him back into the house. only to realize that he was coat and boot less, so I threw him back out of the house into the snow and gave his ribs a good kick" Tony and josh were urging me to leave him alone so I did. I walked back into the house and locked the back door" I then started getting my winter shit back on, only wearing one sweater instead of two with my coat open. Yelling through the glass " screw you faggot, I'm going home" and he ran around to the front door to kick my ass in his socks.

On my way out of the back door, I was about to just walk away when I looked at daniel's dripping boots and laughed at my sudden funny idea "let's see how fast this faggot can hop" I chuckle happily as I steal one of his boots and his coat and start running down the street. I went about half way and nearly laughed my ass off as daniel came hopping down the street I saw the blinds open as Tony and Josh watched from inside as Dan hopped like a retard as I quickly stuffed coat full of snow. taking both of my gloves off so that I can get that melty goodness all over the inside of it. Daniel then pulls out this cleaver and is like "you fucking douchebag! gimmie back my coat before I fucking cut you" and I gave him the jacket. As he was putting it on though, he put down the knife and bent over to tie his shoe. I then kicked him over and gave him a snowjob *snowjob:verb: to push someone over and kick snow on them*

Then in a stroke of utter genius, I picked up the cleaver and beat him with the blunt end of the blade. Tony and Josh ran out as daniel screamed on the ground and I ran down the street with a cleaver in my hand. I stashed the blade in my coat, got on the bus, and went home. Then when I went back on the 27th, I put a bow on the cleaver and gave it back to his mom and said "I'm sorry about taking this, Daniel was threatening me with it and I wasn't about to let him get away with anything" Long story short he was a phone call away from getting kicked out of his house and I had a huge grin on my face.

by the time Boxing weekend showed up, the temperature had risen to 10 degrees above freezing and the 4 foot walls are no bigger than speed bumps. And even though I hate Daniel, I'll still go over there because Tony and Josh are still cool and thought that fake hacking Dan was the lulziest shit evar. besides, smoking weed by myself makes me feel like a loser.

Well yeah, the blawg is all caught up now. I hope to be picking up more with my posts in the new year ^^

Happy Christmas and a merry new year everyone!!!

Rion out ~<3

P.S. I miss you Gabriel <333333333

The sound of failure

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 10:02:27 GMT

So since the music stores were closed on boxingday, I went out with my friend Ana so that she could buy a whole bunch of music recording stuff. So after informing me that she was getting a ride and that I had to take the bus on this rainy-ass day, I get to the store and it's packed as hell. So I find Ana in the guitar room strumming away, and we go to the back of the store where they house all of the home studio swag.

She finds her Microphone in a matter of minutes, but it's an XLR input Mic with phantom power, so she needs the appropiate soundcard with XLR input and Phantom power to connect it to her fictional computer. After nearly spending an hour talking to the MANAGER on the stores first day open after christmas, and he guides her towards a Fast Track Pro USB soundcard and teaches us about Polar Patterns, phantom power, and how to record vocals with acoustic guitar, and $200+ later, she walked out with everything she needs to record and I walked out with a $15 guitar strap. So all said and done, I wait for her outside of the store while her ride arrives and when her dad gets there, she asks me where I live and when I tell her she goes "Ohhh... that's kinda far, Mind taking the bus?" Well obviously I mind taking the bus, It's fucking raining outside and I just spent the day fucking helping you" but I refrain from losing my temper and gracefully wait 45 minutes for the bus in the rain.

The next day I went out with a few friends and smoked a fat spliff. Then while we were playing around in his music room, I though "hey! what if I brought over my computer, she brought over her soundcard and microphone, and we used his music room *equiped with brand new drums, electric guitar and bass, a bunch of amps, and it's rather seperated from the rest of the house.* and he was all like "yeah!!! call her up tomorrow and we'll work something out"

So the next day she comes online and I suggested the idea and she saids "Oh, I took all of that stuff back, my bro said that it's overpriced. He said that he can get a card for $170 that goes into the PC, which is faster, and can do movies and stuff too." She sent me the link to a cinema card, made for making movies, no XLR input, no phantom power, and is useless." I told her about her mistake and she got all defencive. Claiming that she has to have $1000 for new years so that she can buy a plane ticket for a trip she's going on in june, and in the store she said "Oh, $230? that's like 2 weeks worth of work" so I told her straight up that if she isn't going to be serious about this, she shouldn't have wasted my time.

Like fuck, she spent over an hour talking to the manager of a fucking music store about recording and she trusts her older brother who's too retarded to even realize that USB is faster than fuckin PCI. I hate people who can't think anything out.

Alright, here comes the third post

bawxday

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 09:38:31 GMT

Hey Journal

Just so you know, I've been watching mythbusters for almost 24 hours now, and I'm sure that I've seen every episode. Anyway, My plans were to go boxing day shopping with one of my friends because she wants to build a recording studio in her basement, but since all of the music stores were closed on boxing day, we postpwned it to the weekend and I went on a solo mission to Canada Computers. After doing loads of research on christmas day, I decided that a Antec Three Hundred would be the best choice for me since the power supply is mounted near the bottom of the case and won't press against the top of my big ass cooler. Since all of my friends are dicks, It was a solo mission.

As soon as I got to the store I pretty much ran to the back where they keep the cases, snagged the last one, then on my way to the front of the store I saw a guy and his son asking a floorwalker where he could find an Antec 300 and I replied" you're gonna have to pry it from my cold dead hands" and walked to the front of the store. When I took it to a cashier, he asked me how many were left and I said" including this one, just one" and he proceded to curse the world because he wanted to get one, and as an employee he isn't allowed to buy merchandice while on the job, so too slow for him. When I blurted out "why didn't you just pay a friend $5 interest to buy it for you" and the look on his face was priceless. It was sad, shocked, and pissed off at the same time, with a pinch of shame thrown in there for good measure.

I wanted to redo the thermal paste job on my CPU cause I know that mine was fucked up from all of the months of being pushed on by the power supply. A fucking small ass tube that holds like a table spoon of thermal paste was nearly $10 and I nearly jewed my way out of that problem cause my $100 was already dented, but I needed it so I just watched as my money went from $100 to $30. I walked out of there, and this fairly old dude started talking nerd to me about the cost of different products. Normally I would have just brushed this shit off, but he just talked and talked the whole way. Talked about power supplies, ram, motherboards, CPU's videocards, and generally everything that was on sale. The whole experience felt like a fucking infomercial. He even dissed my 1 gb of ram saying that "1gb of ram wouldn't even run Vista" to which I went all L337nux on his ass and he stopped talking to me.

So I got home with my shit, and spent like 10 minutes taking the parts out of my old case, while carefully saving all of the screws. I then popped open my new case on both sides and found a little cardboard box. This box was FULL of TWO sets of screws. One bag was full of motherboard stand offs, and pretty much an abundance of screws, and the second bag was full of just thumb screws. So I dusted everything off, making sure to get all of the nooks and crannies on my cooler and power supply before installing everything. My first problem was that the connector that goes from the power supply to the motherboard was short, so I had it dangling in the case while I installed everything else.

Then more problems emerged. after repasting and installing the CPU fan onto the motherboard and into the case, I realized that the fucking cooler pushes against the cool-ass 140 mm blowhole fan. The..Main..Reason..Why..I..Bought..The..FUCKING.. case in the first place... So I removed the fan reluctantly and realized that I couldn't even mount it onto the top of the case cause the damn fan cover is built into the top of the PC and is raised like a centimeter from the top of the case, preventing the short fan screws from allowing the fan to stay in place. So it sat in the box with my old case while I assembled my new PC. all fo the cards went in, all of the spaghetti went in and was all managed, everything was in order, but when I pressed the power button I got nothing.

I opened the case again, and realized that in my wire-management haste I unplugged the power button. I plugged it back in, turned on the PC, and that's all it did. No beeps, so visual indication that the PC was even on besides the gentle whine of my fans and an eerie blue glow coming from my CPU cooler. I spent HOURS troubling Till the ~~Code Monkey~~ ~~school wolf~~ ~~faggot~~ coolest guy ever with my PC noobness, and after many hours of rebuilding and trouble shooting I just gave up and decided to take the case into the PC place the next day and get him to do it.

Late in the night, the mystery of my fucked up PC was haunting my dreams and preventing me from sleeping, so I asked My new friend Surya if he could help me out, and he said "hey, were you fucking around with the red switch on the back of the power supply?" and my jaw just dropped. I HAD been fucking with it cause it was dusty as hell so I switched it back and forward a couple times; paying no attention to where it was before I started, but then again I couldn't even see what it said before. So after nearly 12 hours of horror, I finally got my PC up and running and I was able to sleep.

Imma split up this one and the next one, cause the next day was kind of a doozie.

Crimmis

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 08:57:49 GMT

Hey Journal

I know it's been a while, but I pretty much feel obligated to make a post here. So besides feeling lonely and blue, My christmas was alright. I didn't get exactly what I wanted, but I guess santa must be getting old and forgot what I asked for. I DID get a Small amp and a Blonde Telecaster clone by Ibanez, which I'm looking forward to painting once the weather warms up, Along with a pair of slippers, some random stuff in my stocking, and $100 cash, I think I did alright. Well, for those who don't follow my FA page, My PC looked like utter shit, so I bought an Antec three Hundred. It's an awesome cool case, but since my Cooling fan sticks up like an inch above the top of the motherboard, I had to remove the super sexy 140mm Fan from the top. I SO plan on modding this case, but after taking my old case completely apart for the first time, I decided that it wasn't in terrible shapen and could probably be sold for 60-70 bucks if I give it a fresh coat of paint and some mods. But I digress...

Since I spent close to $70 at canada computers, Along with having to buy a strap for my new guitar, my money was pretty much gonzo v.v I was really looking forward to buying that BCD 300, but I've also been thinking of taking another direction... I realized that the reason I want the BCD 300 is because it has the cool jog wheels, a soundcard, and the ability to interact with music in the same way as a turntablist. But after a month of studying controllerism, I'm pretty certain that I could get a pretty decent set going if I assign the knobs and faders to different controls. Sure, I wouldn't be scratching and shit, but I would be trading those small aspects of turntablism to a whole new bag of tricks that DJ's only dream of doing.

But back to Christmas. The original plan of action was that I was going to get some money to spend, I was getting $200 guitar + amp + accessories pack from best buy, and that I would be getting some pretty decent shit like clothes and maybe something like socks, but instead my stepfather suggested that I could just buy an electric guitar + Amp off of him for $100, and when he brought it over the volume knob looked visibly broken and it would only work if you played around with it. So that's in the shop until it gets fixed, and I'm spending my whole christmas break without a guitar when I told my teacher that I would be practicing. Not only that, but I'm thinking "gee, if I was told that I'm getting some money for boxing day, and then on the 23rd I save $100 on a guitar, that I should get something a bit greater than $100 right? But then again on the other paw the "house" got a 32 inch Tv and a new microwave *in all fairness, the microwave was a gift from my older brother, but again I digress*

Actually, I'm gonna split up my post cause I don't feel like making this TL;DR

Till is teh fag

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:19:40 GMT

Hey Journal

Sorry that I kinda slacked on LJ, just that my live recently has been just smoking blunts, skipping school, and playing bass. But recently my life has slowly been changing for the better. I have revised my school plan a bit and I'm really going to try hard to get my media studies teacher to give me a christmas package so that I can pass the class, and I'm going to finish my Media Arts work over the christmas break so that I can just be done with school. As for my guitar and english classes, I've struck a deal where if I join the school band I can easily get my remaining credits.

and as for christmas stuff, I'm just planning on getting a guitar + amp + the behringer bcd3000 and I'm gonna download a cool distro of ubuntu called ubuntu studio that's gonna let me do simple DJ mixes in linux until I can get the oxygen 49 modded and programmed to do what I want it to. And as for how I'll be doing gigs, I've been debating rather hard on that. I could save up money and buy an efficient lappy, or since my gear is rather minimal, I could just buy / make a new case for my PC and simply lug my 17" LCD around with me. I could fit the monitor and the BCD 300 into a large backpack, I have a lan bag for the PC, and then it's just buying / renting some decent monitors and bringing those with me too. Something easily accomplished if I get my license and start driving.

I donno know, I know that I really need a new case cause I recently did a PSU-ectomy to improve the airflow and get the PSU out of the way of my big-ass CPU cooler. *ponders* I could even fix this one up if I put my mind to it, but I've learned the hard way that winter is a shitty time to be doing mods when you live in an apartment. lol I'm installing ubuntu studio onto my iPod this weekend, so I'll probably dismantle the PC, take some lulzy pics, and fix it up a little bit to get it working a tad more efficiently.

Hmm... what else?

Ah yes! I haven't been talking much about it, but I'm collaborating with a vocalist hopefully during the winter break and we're gonna see if we can produce some cool tracks for y'all faggots xD. now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to smoke a bowl and continue listening to my MSTRKRFT live set

it's been a while eh?

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:45:58 GMT

Hey Journal

I know that it's been a long while, but I just haven't been in the mood for typing lately, you can blame school for that. But at least that is changing. I finally got my class dropped but I gotta get the form signed by the teacher and she's been sick or something. Atg least I fucking have a spare now. And during that spare, I'm gonna work on my Recumbent bike and get that shit done

Ugh, I have so much shit to talk about v.v

Alright, Well I actually went to guidance and asked if it would be possible to pull a few strings and get me to pass the rest of my classes this year, so I went to all of my classes and asked for work packages that I could finish. When I went to my guitar class though, he gave me a single booklet, told me that I had to write a song for guitar, and that I NEED to go to school on friday. So I went to school on friday, which was a halfday with 45 minute classes, and HE WASN'T EVEN FUCKING THERE!! I did the worksheet the suppy teacher gave us to do and when I handed it in, he said that it was just practice and I got pissed off. I was gonna walk out of the class, but the class was over in 20 minutes so my plan was to just hang out, but instead my friend called and asked if I wanted to smoke a blunt with him so I left.

Speaking of phonecalls, I got a new phone!!! LG keybo *LG Env2 for all you homos south of the border* and I like it so far. It has a nice qwerty keyboard for texting and the numbers on the front are larger than life :P it also came with a 1 gig microSD card, and a cool lil headset thing that plugs into the phone *or any phone / xbox360 microphone port thing* and allows you to have stereophonic conversations, as well as listen to music and use voice commands. I upgraded the 1 gig for 4 gigs and I plan on getting another 4-8 gig soon for movies.

Lets see... I can talk about my shitty halloween I guess. I skipped school that day cause I was feeling sick as hell, but I still wanted to leave the house. I was thinking of going to Roo's party, but I changed my mind cause I had a high fever and didn't feel like making other people sick. So I just went over to Daniel's place to hang out and hand out candy. I Sooo should have just stayed home v.v He pulled his shitty Daniel moves as usual, making josh and I hand out pretty much all of the candy, and pulling stupid shit like shooting me in the face with a modified sticky dart gun *darts with the little suction cups on them* He added like 10 elastics instead of just the one tiny spring that came with the gun, so it fucking left a welt on my face. Also, he jacked my fucking brand new dollar store hat and was just being an ass, but after the trick or treaters stopped coming *at like 9:30, we were the only people on the long-ass street giving out candy* Daniel went to the bar with this ugly chick so josh and I scrolled up a fat blunt and smoked it in his backyard before going home.

So what else is there? I got my bass fixed ages ago and I've been fucking around on it rather hardcore. I'm getting sick and tired of not knowing how to read sheet music well, so I'm probably gonna start teaching myself scales and such so that I can teach myself how to write and read sheet music. Most people find it useless, but from talking to many musicians I've found that almost all of them wish that they could read musical notation. I think that once I get a job, I'm gonna save up a shitload of money and buy like $1-2000 worth of music stuff. I wanna replace my front speakers with monitors, buy an amp for my bass and then buy a guitar, then I wanna buy a decent lappy and the MP3 controller so that I can get a DJ set on the go. Ugh, I'm gonna have to save up so much fucking money v.v I want to move the fuck out of here and be with my kitty, and recently I've been growing more and more fond of the xbox360, and it's lookiing really nice at $200.

And in other random news, I changed my room around; but it needs a little bit of tweeking. Since I woke up so fucking early I might as well fix up my room and get that done with. Hmm... what else has happened? OH! I fucking broke the hell out of my computer case, so add that onto my wishlist cause I need to make / buy a new one. The one I have now is loud, it overheats, and I'd generally just enjoy a newer case.

and on a final note: Fucking compound chores!!! My guinea pig jack woke me up with his squeaking cause he was hungry / thirsty and I was just gonna give him the last little bit of food, but I realized that the tank was fucking dirty as hell, so I had to be clean. I really didn't want to do it cause it was like 9:30, so I just filled his bottle with water, let out a deep sigh, and started cleaning his tank. IT only takes me like 2 minutes to do, but I sneeze for a couple hours after. Oh! and ontop of all of that, I has to fucking throw out the garbage *again, not a large feat seeing to the fact that my apartment is 2 steps away from the garbage chute. And after doing all of that, I wasn't tired anymore so I updated my LJ and started listening to dubstep. Now after I do this, Imma update my DA / FA with pics from my phone cause people want to see them :P it takes really nice pics too :O it's only 2mp, but with some light shopping I can make them look nice. Hmm, it looks like my friend is coming over to bun the trees, so I'll probably chill for a bit before doing all of that.

~<3 6 more months hun~

I fucking hate school so much D:

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 16:16:45 GMT

Hey Journal

I fucking hate school. The only reason I'm getting these last 4 credits is because I know that it's the difference between employment and unemployment. It fucking sucks, I can't get a job because I have too much school work to do. I can't join the concert band because as much as I'd love to be part of the band, I really can't give up my Mondays and Wednesdays . I can't see my kitty because I'm too poor to visit him and he has too much school to even go online, let alone come to Toronto.

I have so much fucking work to do!!!! like 25 paragraphs of reflections, 13 chapters to read in a book, answer questions that go with those chapters, two essays, as well as a picture to photoshop for media arts and some other homework for media studies. Oh, and all of this is due by tomorrow... ugh, I'm not even going to finish this entry because I have too much fucking work to do. The only thing stopping me from burning down the whole school at this point is soley my lack of funds and the thought of being locked away from my kitty until I'm 137 years old.

Rion out~<3

Holy shit I'm still alive?

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 04:54:03 GMT

Hey Journal

I know it's been forever since I've posted, but a lot has been going on. Active didn't have any low profile arcade buttons, so I bought some super low profile buttons and plan on making my own arcade style buttons out of these cool glass disks I found there and a PSP case. I haven't gotten around to it mostly because I'm super lazy and unmotivated to do much of anything. I haven't been doing my homework either, and my grades are definately going down the shitter. My English teacher decided to be nice and is allowing me to hand in a few important projects on monday that will boost my mark up. I haven't even started yet.

I'm finally getting my stepdads old bass fixed after years of neglect. it's a nice guitar, but it just needs parts that will cost about $100. I'm gonna see if my mom will help me pay it, but since I still don't have a job it's probably going to wait. I REALLY want to get a job, but my marks are already slipping, so I'm just going to wait until janurary... that is if I don't have school then too. i really need to get my act together if I ever want to move out of this shitty place.

On one hand, I really want to get a job to give me something to do on the weekends cause all of my friends work. But on the other hand I know that if I start working, I'm going to be overloaded and either get fired or drop out of school. Even though the thought of applying to become an adult student at a college / university for some sort of course is very enticing. It's just that I don't have a career plan that even requires it, or a highschool diploma, but I just want something to fall back on Incase I fail.

I really hope that I don't fail, but if I do I know exactly why. My friend Josh is distracting as hell, and I hate having classes with him cause I never do my work and we always skip to smoke weed. I can totally understand that some days you just need to skip class for your mental health, at least I do anyway, but just because I don't feel like waking up in the morning doesn't mean that I should stay at home all day, surf youtube and allow my last four credits to go down the shitter. I just want to get this shit done so that I can start saving up to buy some DJ equipment and then eventually move in with my kitty and live happily every after. I just wish it wasn't so fucking hard to do.

All of this stress is literally fucking with me physically. I can't sleep at night cause I'm too busy worrying about stupid shit, I can barely stay awake in class cause I've had a fucking cold for more than 2 weeks and and the meds I'm taking for it do nothing besides make me tired. and it doesn't help that fucking retards come to school and sneeze their germs all over fucking everything. Plus ontop of that I take the public transit DAILY so I'm pretty much around viruses and shit all the time. Even this double live i've pretty much been living for almost 4 years is starting to get to me. When I'm online I'm free to act the way that I feel like acting and at school I'm forced to play this homophobic "character" just so that people at school won't bother the hell out of me.

So onto news about my day.

Today, I went to this thing called "Explore Design" at the metro convention center and got to learn a lot about all sorts of design topics. Designing things is something that I deeply enjoy, but I'd find it nearly impossible to focus on just one thing. I like furinture design, but I also like graphic design, architectural design, fashion design, automotive design, and after today I've grown an interest in jewelery design and goldsmithing. The whole event was rather educational, but it was something that got very boring after I heard everything that I wanted to hear

I woke up at 7:30 to get ready by 8:00 so that I could get to school by 8:45 and go on the trip. Now my school is a 45 minute walk away, but it was freezing cold and the bus is warmer. but it's also packed in the morning. the street my bus has to go down has 5 schools on it, so everyone and their mother takes this bus at 8:00. So I waited and waited for a bus that would stop at my bus stop *the first fucking stop on the line mind you; everyone gets on at the station*. Before you knew it, it was 8:55 and the teacher said that the bus is leaving directly at 9:00.

Let me rephrase that. I got to the bus stop 45 minutes early and was still late. So I walked to the station, hopped on the subway, and got ALL the way to downtown toronto in less than half an hour. I still had to pay $15 to get into the convention thing ontop of the $10 I paid through the school that isn't going to be refunded, and the $5 I spent on a hotdog with fries that I couldn't even finish eating. I found this kick ass pair of mirrored aviator shades with chrome frames on the subway that suit my face perfectly, and I got a few swag messenger and tote bags from the convention so it was alright. And at the end of the day, I got to take the school bus back to the school cause people decided to stay in the convention for the whole duration to see presentations that they wanted to see.

*siighs* I miss you Gabriel, please come online v.v

The future is never concrete

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 05:09:48 GMT

Hey Journal

For the longest time I've been thinking of becoming a DJ, but I've been interested in the various other ways that you can manipulate music. Like this for example, using buttons and stuff to trigger loops in software and stuff, using more than just two turntables and a mixer to create music with much more freedom with what it will sound like. With DJing you just have two turntables and a mixer, and the only thing you can really do is scratch, beatjuggle, and mix. Not only that, but each setup pretty much interfaces the same way; turntables on the left / right sides with the mixer in the middle.

But since finding out about stuff like using rockband instruments to control Midi, I've been looking deeply into the use of using these controllers to "DJ"; mixing tracks and scratching and stuff. Well I know of stuff like the Behringer BCD-3000, or the Numark Total Control; But that isn't the same as using the controller from Rockband to control loops. I had the idea of using an xbox controller and mapping software to make something like what i'm thinking of, but then I found something on the internet that exploded my mind.

Controllerism: The art of manipulating sounds and creating music live using computer controllers and software

This is exactly where my musical career is headed; Taking my ability to make things and pairing it up with my love of music to create something wonderful. With this setup, I could a gig with nothing but a laptop, my oxygen49 midi keyboard, and the BCD 3000. But with this setup comes a different set of plans. My first Idea was to get a job and make enough money to buy the BCD3000 and a laptop, then do a couple shitty gigs with some dodgy sets before buying a set of turntables and some timecoded vinyl.

Now I want to save up, get the BCD 3000, work on my sets after I figure out out to configure my interface, then when I'm ready to start playing gigs I'd buy a powerful laptop, working and saving between now and Feburary (but including work money and christmas money, I'll probably just buy it for boxing day ^.^

I was going to actually talk about my day, but my mind is set on music so I'll just post about my day some other time, not like much happened anyway >.>

Rion out <3

P.S. Don't be too surprised if you see me run down to active surplus and buy some arcade buttons to slap on my Oxygen 49 ^.^

oopz >.>

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 02:35:56 GMT

Hey Journal

Because of my sleep cycle being fucked up I've missed two days of school, slowly wrenching my sleep cycle into gear for the monday rush >.>. Well at least I went to most of my classes, and I'm going to finish all of my work this weekend now that I'm Prepared. My week's been pretty crap though, I've lost my grinder, my sunglasses, and I almost lost my umbrella , But I gained a sweet printer/scanner/fax/copier ^.^ Now I can do my homework and print it out in my own room. I don't even have to worry about my sister using it cause she has the exact same one in her room. Because my older sister broke our old printer, she gave my mom the money for the new one. My mom then gave that money to my sister and she bought her own printer that is the exact same model as mine >.>

Ah well, At least my plans for the future are slowly falling into place. Because I kept forgetting shit, I couldn't get my sin card this week, but I'm going on tuesday morning so that I can get my Sin and also go to my late start classes. Then all I gotta do is print out my resume and hand that shit out so that I can work 4 days a week and make shit happen. I need that money to fund my DJ dream.

Speaking of that, I went to the DJ store after school today and found that he has a lot of CDJ shit; So I'm thinking that I could probably get my MP3 thing shipped there and that way I'm like half a block away. Even though my mom works at the post office and she can just gey my package when she's there and bring it home :\. but to send it to my apartment I think I need to order it online. Aww fuck it, I'm just gonna buy it at steve's music store downtown and make shit happen there too. I need that money to fund Project: Happily Ever After.

I really want to start working and making money cause if I do, I'll be able to save up enough money to be with my kitty; Someone I'm missing a lot right now v_v I'm just in the mood for a nice cuddling :(

Forever and always Lucy <3~

Rion out <333333~~~

Operation Scarberia

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 03:50:39 GMT

Hey Journal

I had a pretty easy first week, I have the classes that I want, they're all pretty easy, and now that my life is a bit more stable, I can start planning for Operation Scarberia. It's basically my escape plan from Scarborough and it's going pretty well. First, I gotta get a job sometime between now and Janurary *when school's done for me* then I gotta work 3-4 days a week and save up as much money as possible. Then when school is done with, I'll save a bit more and figure out an excuse to move out.

The hardest part is going to be figuring out a way to move all the way to frenchland to be with my Kitty. Cause if I move out, my mom is going to want to visit and stuff; and if I tell her that I'm moving to Ottawa she's gonna be all like "you don't even know anyone in Ottawa" and then I'll have to tell her that I'm moving with my internet boyfriend and she's gonna freak out -_-

In other news, I have Guitar class first period ^.^ I've learned instruments before, so I don't think that it's going to be too hard. Besides, I can take a guitar home to practice easier than I can ever take a Tuba. Once I start working, I'll probably buy myself a cheap electric guitar and get the bass that I have here working and stringed so that I can play them in my music ^.^

In second period, I have Digital Art *photoshop* and I'm actually thinking about bringing my tablet to school with me. I could make a pocket for it in the back of my binder and just pull it out when I need to draw stuff. The only thing I hate about this class is that my teacher doesn't like when a photo doesn't look like it's photoshopped, so he's always telling us to change the background and colour stuff and random shit like that. In one photo, I took a crappy picture of myself, sharpened the motion blur, Re drew my hair changed the color of the sunglasses I had on, added a reflection to the shades, cut out the background, and replaced it with something else. I then added some weathering to the image, made it look old, added sepia to it, and when he came around to see my progress he told me that I need to add color to the background and perhaps make the headphones that were around my neck bright pink with hello kitty on them. Ugh, that teacher is such a fag...

Anyway, I have Media Studies third period, and english in last. I have a feeling that that was caused by the two english teachers *media studies is specicalized english* getting together so that I would pass because I was talking to the both of them on the last day after failing both courses and I told them that I didn't show up to class because they were in the morning. Either that or my brain is drowning in THC and Alex Jones, so I just assume that everything is elaborately planned and that nothing happens as a coincidence.

But I digress...

Today was a boring day. All of my friends work, so I spent the whole day scowling at myself for not getting a job *which I regret* I picked another tomato from my plant *the other one got eaten by my dog >_<* and all of the flowers are opening up at once. The tomatos are only about an inch in diameter though cause there are four plants in a small-ish pot instead of having a whole yard to gather nutrience from.

I was suppose to clean my room today too, but I was too miserable and bored. Then when my mom got home she started bitching at me, and just as I was going to start, my oldest sister came in with her herd of children and my nephews wanted me to install ISOs onto their psp's when they only have one gig of memory space and ISO's are like 800mb. On top of that, they won't even run unless the firmware is custom. Since I didn't feel like having my sister kick my ass for bricking two brand new PSP's, I restored them and sent the rugrats on their way.

What sucked even more was that she actually brought the printer home. My mom was talking about buying me a printer/scanner/fax for $50 today. But now that my sister brought the printer back, I won't be getting one *I think*, but if I do, it allows me to make awesome stencils quickly using photoshop+print instead of photoshop+tracing with pencil. I've been thinking a lot about adding a few more devices to my electric army.

Once I start working, I wanna dish out $700 and buy an Acer Aspire One with 6cell battery and 120gb of space, with a behringer bcd3000 so that I can mobile DJ soon and start working gigs. I was thinking about doing it with the asus Eee, but they simply aren't powerful enough and don't have enough space for music. Sure, I could load up music onto compact flash or whatever, but that's a hassle and it's easier to just load up all 120gb of space with music and use it for not much else. Now all I gotta do is figure out which of the MANY programs I'm going to use to mix with.

I've also been looking up ways to make my own DJ speakers on the cheap, just for now until I have enough to buy some decent outdoor speakers with tripods on sale somewhere when I have money. I found a cool instructable that explains how to make a pretty good mobile audio setup, but I want to figure out how much a professional rig costs and then plan out all that juicy stuff like buying amps and lights and stuff.

*Siiiiiighs* I need a job >_______<

Rion out <3

My mediocre day

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 03:59:37 GMT

Hey Journal

I start school on Tuesday and I wanted to look fresh, so I decided to go shopping for some new clothes. Now I'm a pretty big guy, so clothes shopping can be difficult, but I got this cool $10 off card for Mr Big and Tall, so I went there. I thought they closed at 6, but they closed at 5 today and I got there at 4:45, so I had to pretty much rush to buy stuff. A lot of the clothes there are professional attire, so it's not like I had much to choose from anyway.

So I picked out two pairs of pants, one pair were black and had this cool irregular cordory look to them , and the other pair were very earthy brown khaki cargo pants with cool details on the pockets. Both pairs came to about $110, thankfully I brought that discount card, cause I only brought $100 :P

I planned on shopping for some shirts, but I didn't have nearly enough money >_<

*yawns* so what else do I have to say? Well, Till has forgiven me for being a dick, but I doubt anyone cares about that so I guess I'll just go to bed.

Rion out <3

Friends

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 07:23:41 GMT

Hey Journal

Warning: this post has a lot of juicy pent up emotions that will probably upset a few people. Too bad I guess *shrugs*

I didn't feel like getting emo germs all over my beautiful tomato post, so I made another post for my emo stuff. I only have one friend. I consider a friend someone who you hang out with on a regular basis. Josh is alright when he's on his own, but when he's around his cousin daniel he turns into a huge dick. Which sucks, because Josh thinks that Daniel is more awesome than capslock and hangs out with him all the time.

I moved here 6 years ago, and haven't made a single friend in the area. Everyone here seems so stupid and I hate being around stupid people. Josh is kinda boring, but I like hanging out with him because he's the only friend that hasn't gone to do bigger and better things. Besides, Josh is the only person I actually like smoking with. He's very chill and can roll spliffs like it's nobody's business.

Till is a really nice guy. I had a crush on him for the longest time, but he had other plans so I eventually got over it. He's the kind of guy that I could just sit and talk with for hours on end and never get bored, and he's pretty cute too ^^;; The only downside is that he doesn't like being around me... I was super shy when I first met him and that really fucked up my first impression. Now I couldn't get him to go to the mall with me if I paid him with sexual favours and a fist full of dollars. Which really says a lot cause this wolf would really like both of those things. Trust me, I'm reminded pretty much everyday.

Our relationship kinda reminds me of that one southpark commercial with the plague of homeless people. At one point, there's a demonstration by a scientist that shows that even if you give homeless people change, they will always ask for more. He tells me pretty much everytime he gets an erection by either sending me a random link from furaffinity, or by telling me about how he really wants a blowjob or something like that. And on multiple occasions I've pretty much said "Hey, if you want your dick sucked you should probably come over to my place" only to have him fabricate some sort of excuse not to go. I eventually stopped because the whole process of getting turned down was turning my self esteem to shit, but he still tells me how much he would love for someone to suck his dick on a daily basis.

But what REALLY bothers me is that he won't come over here because it's "too far", but he'll go visit Potoroo, go to cons in the states, and talk about how he can't wait for some dude he met at FCN to visit him. Like fuck, I wanna visit him too damnit!! but of course he has an excuse for that, he has a fucking excuse for everything. Always excuses and never answers. I'd much rather have him say "No Rion, you're a fat bastard and I don't want to fuck you" instead of making up some sort off bullshit excuse.

And another thing he does that annoys me quite a bit is that he belitles every aspect of his life. For example, he moved into residence today, got to go to his friend stripes place to chill. During this time, Jane and I were having an arguement about stupid shit. We went to the beach ages ago and she's been slacking on sending me those pictures the whole time. I told her to send me the pics instantly or I'm going to seriously stop being her friend. She said "Fuck that! my camera is in my room and I'm in the basement" So i replied "Are you saying that our friendship isn't worth a two storey walk?" and she said that she was going to bed and promptly signed off.

I then sent Till a message saying "Wow... my friends suck" and he said "I don't have that many friends here" When he JUST got back from visiting a furry friend like less than an hour before. I was thinking about just letting it go, but I decided to give him a little piece of my mind by saying "I've been living in this apartment for 6 years and I have less friends in my area than you have in yours" and he just said "Yeah I know, it makes me feel a bit alone though" Like fuck, he's been living in his dorm for less than a day and has one friend. I've been living here for 6 years or so and I haven't made a single friend in my area. I just fucking hate how he can make something like that seem like a non-issue, cause he feels that his situation is worse than mine.

And then there's Jane. She thinks that just because I have a crush on her, that I'm going to entertain her on msn for the whole night. That tomato photo in the previous picture? Should have taken about 2 minutes to compose, but it took almost 20 because she kept talking to me non stop and saying stupid shit just to annoy me so that I'd pay attention to her. She reminds me of my dog. They're both cute, but they'll both do anything to get their point across.

For example, Today she asked me if I liked her and I said yes. She immediately followed by saying "OH MY GAWD!!! YOU DON'T LOVE MEEEE?!?!?!" and that would normally be followed by 20 minutes of explaination, but I've been bitter all day so I told her to fuck off. Then she was telling me to laugh into my Microphone, but I suck at fake laughing so I said no. Then she told me to watch something funny and laugh, but I can't laugh at something funny if I'm being forced to laugh, it ruins the whole purpose. That lead to the picture conversation three paragraphs above cause I told he that if she sends me the beach pictures I'll Sing her a song. *Siighs* She makes my life so damn difficult.

This kinda has something to do with friends, so I'll post it here. My MSN friends list was heavily padded with people who never talk to me. Some of them I've talked to once and then just kinda left them alone, And others talk if I initiate a conversation, but they won't actually start one with me. So aproximately a week ago I changed my name to "Rion: I'm deleting everyone who doesn't talk to me by Monday" And it was Thursday or Friday. I seperated my friends list into two groups: people that talk, and people that don't talk. at midnight on monday I almost got fed up and deleted my whole msn account. My talk group only had 15 people in it and like 8 of them sent messages saying "plz don't delete me" and I fucking deleted those people anyway just for doing that. I found it to be rather pointless to have a list of 7 people, so changed the names of the groups to "people I like" and people I don't like" and started dragging. By the end my msn list had 20 people on it and out of those 20 I talk to 7 of them.

And speaking of people I like, I've been thinking about Luce lately. He hasn't been feeling well, and actually scared the shit out of me when he thought he had listeria *thank god he didn't* but it still makes me wish that I could be there to comfort him. I talk to him on msn from time to time, but his internet is a million different flavours of fail and he's online about 5 hours a week. Not only that, but he goes offline without warning and sometimes for 2-3 days. It's possible for my kitty to be MIA for even longer than that.

Making our relationship work is my top priority, but it isn't easy. The long-distance relationships are naturally hard to maintain, but with the lack of communication that's been going on since he moved in with his mom, I'm starting to get a bit worried. I'm just praying that once school starts I'll be able to talk to him online every once in a while.

But in kinda related news, I think I have a solution to my school problem. I'm going to go to school for the first semester, pack as many classes as I can into one semester, and finish whatever's left in nightschool. I wanna be finished with school as soon as possible, and nightschool seems like the best idea. I gotta see how easy it is before I start looking for a job, but it's fairly easy I'm going to work and save up enough money to move in with Luce in a years time. Hell, with a 100% disposable income I could probably work 3 days a week and have enough money to move into my own place by Janurary. I have no clue how much money I'm going to make, so I'm planning as minimal as possible to prevent disappointment. I'm not even thinking about getting a car right now, nor am I going to make any major purchases unless I feel financially stable enough to do so.

But until then, I'm counting the seconds untilI get to see my kitty again <3

As for Till, I hope you can forgive me for being bitter, but I can understand if you won't.

Rion out <3

PICTURES!!!

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 05:06:14 GMT

I took a couple pictures of my tomato plant today.

Rion out <3

Summer's done

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:24:09 GMT

Hey Journal

It's been awesome, but summer's pretty much done with. I was suppose to do a bit more dollar store shopping today but my day was too shitty and I don't even feel like going out. My sister came over with her herd of children. My two nephews just got new PSP's so I was putting music and shit on them the whole time. And what sucks is that I was suppose to clean my room today, but my nephews fucked it all up and now I REALLY don't want to do it

And on top of that, I haven't gotten nearly enough screen prints done. For the last little bit, I've been just applying a stencil sticker onto a piece of fabric and hoping that it doesn't bleed, but I'm thinking that I should actually make a screen printing rig with an actual screen. I'll see if I can make a frame and whatnot out of stuff I have lying around. Worst comes to worst I'll have to buy a couple feet of wood from the hardware store and start printing my own shirts. *siiiighs*

Ah well, once i get my printing shit together, I'll be able to print patches, shirts, and all of those good things easily.

Ugh! I just feel so blah right now >_<

Rion out

Monday Marathon

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:20:56 GMT

Hey Journal

I wasn't sure if Registration for school was this Tuesday or next Tuesday, So I decided to bite the bullet and pull an all nighter to get some patches made. I almost finished one, and screen printed two more. They're on my FA page if you're interested, my username is Rionnipal.

But I digress...

So I woke up at around noon and everyone was like "WHAT THE SHIT?!?!?! GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL RETARD!!!!!" so I left at 12:30. I got to school at 1, and was sitting outside of the school with my stuff by 1:15. Since everyone went in the morning, noone was there by 11:00. So when I went in, The new VP *a freakishly tall women with a suspiciously deep voice* told one of the secretaries to get me setup. Another thing I noticed was that ALL of the office staff had been transfered. Both VP's and every last secretary is new. Good riddnce I guess, they were all rude as hell and got complained about so much that the principal had to start making complaints directly *normally complaints go to the secretaries, but I digress...*

If all goes well, I'll go to the dollar store to buy some fabric, as well as go to Kennedy station to buy some bus tickets to last me until I get my bus pass in September. Ah well, today was a pretty good day so far, lets hope it stays that way *knocks on wood*

Rion out <3

Oh internet, why do I even bother going to the movies?

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 03:26:56 GMT

Hey Journal

I hate it when my emotions are conflicted >_< I woke up this morning at 9 to the sound of someone sending messages to me on msn. Without even looking I knew who it was. Luce always says hi to me when he gets home from his graveyard shift. We say our hellos and I-love-yous, and before you know it, Luce is off to bed. But for some reason, today was different. When he went offline in his spontanious panther fashion, I felt as if he would never come back.

Now I know he eventually will *Right?* , but it was just one of those irrational feelings that you know are exaggerated, but you still feel that way regardless. Kinda like when you watch a scary movie and spend a couple nights after that with a flashlight clutched tightly in one paw, being freaked out as the shadows tease your active imagination. But anyway, on with my day.

I was upset for most of the morning, so I distracted myself by making a few stencils in photoshop. I think I've got the hang of it, although I can't make any of them without first getting my printer back from my stupid older sister. I did, however, design and almost finish my first complete patch. It kinda looks ugly to me, but I have an idea that might fix it....

So I went out today with my friend josh to see Death Race. Although I wouldn't reccomend it, it was an alright movie. Lots of predictable action and stuff like that. But it's not really the loud people or the overpriced food that bothers me really, It's the people. There's so many of them, and they're all in groups. Lots of couples too, it just makes me feel so lonely and emotional. And what really bothers me about that is that I have no reason to feel this way.

I have a boyfriend that loves me dearly, my friend Jane who loves me just as much, and a group of internet friends that love me to pieces. It's just that whenever I see people being affectionate it reminds me of previous experiences, Like the last kiss I gave Luce before he dropped me off in March, And the first kiss Jane and I shared on the crowded bus that day.

But at the same time, it's thoughts like those that get me out of bed in the morning. The thought of saving up enough money to move in with my Kitty, or even the thought of that cute little smirk Jane has when she sees me is enough to make me realize how wonderful my life really is.

I just wish I didn't have to feel so conflicted between the two

Rion out <3

P.S. my sister is sleeping over at my brothers house and she took the camera with her. hopefully I'll be able to use the camera when she gets back >_<

Sowwy D:

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 07:51:06 GMT

Hey Journal

I was going to take pics, but the camera was dead and the charger was missing. So I just went to the store. I bought a couple bland binders, a Dudley lock, and a yard of fabric to make patches and stuff with. The fabric I got is very thin though, and I'm kinda wishing that I had just stuck with denim but hey, you can't always win I guess >_<

Anyway, I came home and tried stenciling onto the thin fabric. After like 8 tries, I got my technique down and now all I gotta do is make some stencils and get them sprayed. This fabric bleeds very easily, so I was thinking of stitching two pieces together or even putting paper towel under the fabric so that whatever doesn't absorb into the fabric doesn't bleed under the masked area. *I know this problem can be solved with thinner coats, but I'd rather the whole process take 30 seconds instead of 5 minutes.*

I found a couple stencils online that I like, but I really wish I had photoshop so that I could make my own stencils. I stopped right after than sentence and downloaded the demo from the site. Hell, I need photoshop more than they need $700 damnit >_< Anyway, the camera is gonna be charged tomorrow while I fuck around on photoshop and make stencils.

Rion out <3

*update. I also got a cool little plugin for firefox 3 that supports last.FM called Fire.FM. it's kick-ass and a half

school time is approching >_

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:32:56 GMT

Hey Journal

I start school on the first *or the second, I can't remember* and I'm nearly done my school shopping. I went out last night and bought myself a pretty cool Jansport backpack *it was cheap, and comes with a lifetime warrenty* It's all black for now, but I have plans to make some patches out of denim and give the bag my own personal touches. Now I just gotta go out and buy a yard or so of denim, as well as a couple binders and little things that I need to finish this pre-school project.

I did a pretty cool thing yesterday that I think is worth noting; After my shower I locked my door and smoked two grams in the homemade hookah to my face. This hookah is a million times better than The Crunky Chicken, mostly because my large gecko bowl stays lit for fucking ever. And on top of that, the tube allows for smoking while laying down. I actually passed out for two hours after finishing the bowl, woke up ripped, and went shopping for my bag

If you can even call it shopping, I walked into the first store that was selling bags and bought one. I probably got ripped off, but my mom paid for it and the extra money was just gonna go to drugs anyway. Speaking of drugs, apparently there's a party going down today that no one told me about *of course* but meh, I don't like mundane parties that much. Besides, most of the people going are assholes anyway *shrugs*

Well, I guess I'm just waiting for my mom to come home for break so that I can go to the mall again to finish my shopping. and I know that I've promised many pics, in these journal entries, so I'm gonna steal my sister's camera when I get home and take pics of stuff.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT STAIRS!!!

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:30:16 GMT

Hey Journal

I've never loved stairs so much in my life. The day started with something simple enough, just a trip to the beach to walk down the boardwalk. Jane and I went to Woodbine Beach cause she wanted to take pictures and I just wanted to get out and about for once.

So we walked down the boardwalk and decided on the way that we wanted to see how far down the beach we could go before sunset. So kept walking until we weren't even on the same beach anymore. When we finally got to the end of Kew / Balmy beach and there's this HUGE building. So checked it out and it looked like an old power station or something. There was a cool little field thing with a fence around it, so we stayed there for a bit and laid in the grass. After an undetermined amount of time *I forgot my phone at home, so I didn't have the time* We continued walking across the field. We were then at the bottom of a steep hill, and stopped by a 6 foot fence, so we walked up the hill, found a hole in the fence, and walked down on the other side to where we found a slightly lit fire.

We were thinking about throwing more wood on the dieing fire, but we decided against it because we were going to be leaving soon. So we kept walking on the more wild side of the beach. So we walked... for 30 more minutes; We were thinking about walking to the bluffs, but we decided against it. We found a little clearing and tried climbing up the hill. It was too steep and muddy, so we gave up and started walking back. Then, out of nowhere, we saw a staircase hidden in the bushes. After nearly an hour of walking in the sand, I've never been this happy to see stairs ever.

Jane and I tore through the overgrown passageway hoping to find a bus stop, but we decided to stop for a bit because the sun was starting to set and we were in a beautiful spot. *not as beautiful as the field, but it was better than getting eaten by Mosquitos, stabbed by thorns, and slipping in mud. We took a couple pictures, took a breather, and continued up the stairs. We were kinda shocked when we found out that we JUST FUCKING WALKED INTO SOMEONE'S BACKYARD >___<

Jane was scared of being arrested for trespassing, but I was WAY too tired to walk back down the stairs, so we went through the backyard. The lights were off, so I didn't think that we were in too much danger, But we were covered in a nasty mixture of sand, sweat, thorns, and bug bites. And to top it all off, There were kids playing in the street, and every car *driving or parked* was worth more than $40,000

So we kindly asked someone for directions to the nearest bus-stop, and walked. The directions included a wickedly steep street, so my fat ass needed to take a break. There was nowhere to sit, so we sat on these rocks in front of someone's house and emptied the sand from our shoes. We then continued on our journey and finally made it to the main street.

We took one last picture at Victoria station, and made sure that she was on the bus before I took the subway to Kennedy station. As soon as I got home, I google mapped the distance from woodbine beach to the house that saved us. I don't have an exact address, but I've matched the house from general location, a street name I saw on my way to the bus stop, and the color of the house.

*update*

*for some reason, my linking abilities in ElJay are fuxored, so copypasta it or something >_<

I also made a song. Check my furaffinity for details :P

http://furaffinity.net/user/rionnipal

This is how far I walked >_<

http://tinyurl.com/5k5ghn

I'm suppose to get pics from Jane "later" so I'll post those when I get them

great moment in high

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:15:03 GMT

Hey Journal

As it says in my display name, I spent most of my day being high as hell. My friend josh came over to smoke some weeeeed, but my mom was home so we went to the dollar store to get some school stuff. I bought some pens, mechanical pencils, and all that jazz. When I got home though, the dollar store binders I had broke, so I gotta go to walmart and get some moar. I'm also debating on if I should buy a simple black backpack, or or get the same bag as my sister. A jansport bag with minimal advertising on it. I'll be making patches to put on it so it's more of a durability issue than it is a brand issue. I also want to seriously think about putting lights in my bag *so that I can see inside when it's dark out / just to look cool, but I guess that will happen when it happens.

As for today, I have no clue what's going on cause Jane likes to sleep until like 4pm so I might just buy more weed and chill with my new hook- *facepalms* that reminds me. Yesterday I was thinking "Hmm, I really need a hookah so that I can lie down and smoke" so I found a mason jar in the cupboard, took the diffused downstem and grommet from the Crunky Chicken *it's getting hopelessly dirty* and used the hose grommet from my old mini hookah to attach some identical vinyl tubing.

I packed the bowl with weed, the jar with water and ice, laid back , ~~with my mind on my money and my money on my mind~~ and watched T.V. Well, until I fucked shit up that is. since I pretty much smoked from 6 to 11, I was adding ice cubes every hour or so. Once the jar got full, I would empty it into a bottle. So at around 10, I was dying for a drink and nearly passed out; so I grabbed the cold bottle of bong water and took a huge swig of it. It wasn't too bad since the water was only used today, but I still smoked about 1.5 grams chopped finely with about 0.5 tobacco *what can I say? I'm greedy*

My upset stomach is still kinda lingering two hours later, but now I'm just starving and in need of some coffee.

**update**

Just something stupid that my sister did, but not important enough for it's own post

It's quite beautiful outside, but it's fucking COLD inside cause the Air Conditioner is on. My dog just got groomed, so he's running around shivering and being annoying. My sister doesn't want to put a sweater on the dog cause she's lazy, and she doesn't want to turn off the air conditioner cause she likes being cold, and on top of all that, the warm air that comes from the back of the thing is making my tomato plant welt a bit. But if I do anything I'll get in trouble, so I'm not even gonna bother.

Sighs, that's my life

Also, I'm not listening to amillicore anymore, I'm listening to Avi's swapping [biteplay] - Luciffur. The only reason I'm not changing the music is because even Luce gets enough advertising from me.